Sunday, August 9, 2009

Everyday Restoration

One year ago was a big turning point for me in my healing awareness and education. It began with a poem titled "Restoration" that I posted on an on-line forum for lymphoma patients. Someone I'd never met before responded with his take on the same word. It was a good word/theme/idea to bat around in such a place with others who were also trying to rebuild the fractured pieces of their lives - folks who'd found themselves in very serious circumstances and were trying to find their way through also. This 'stranger' and I became fast friends. When one finds a like-minded soul, especially under such conditions, all cards are quickly laid on the table. We had work to do and quickly became the best of compadres, shoveling partners, side by side on the mountain. There are others here who come to visit who know very well the constancy it takes. We're not shoveling just for today. We get up every day and do our best to reaffirm Restoration; to reaffirm our healing, which in my mind isn't an event that takes place as in "now I am healed', but an affirmative action that needs daily renewal. In other words it changes daily. Our attempts need to keep up.

My attempts here in this patch of the blog is to share with others some of the things that have helped myself and others through. I hope it never sounds 'preachy' or pedantic - just sharing some thoughts. And as I've always told folks who would come to see me for consultation, "Take anything I say with a big ol' grain of salt." You know best. Claim it. It's yours: Restoration

When the idea of sharing some of my thoughts on Restoration arose, it began with some notes to myself. Every day, some more so than others, I need to remind myself and reaffirm my intention. My personal situation has the challenge of 'outsider voices' who predict my outcome - they even have scores, charts and projections to map out my unknown future. Heh! That's what I say to that! And in order to have a somewhat defiant attitude with 'them' I have to remind myself repeatedly. Sometimes I'm worn though. Sometimes I struggle to keep myself aimed in the right direction. Writing helps. Sharing ideas with others helps. Remembering where to aim my arrow of intention helps. But some days are harder than others with the challenges that I walk with.

I believe that what you teach you learn; what you give away you receive. For me to share some of all this with all of you makes me have to go deeper - and I thank you for that.

The sharing of all this began with a note on a day that I needed to remind myself of all the various things I could do to find "Restoration". I felt fried - and this is what came to me to help myself with falling down again.


EVERYDAY RESTORATION [the bullet points reminder of that particular day]

- Dial it down: the volume; the frantic, hyper, scattered pace; the chaos.

- Defray the nerves; unruffle the feathers.

- Respect my limits - and the world's.

- When facing limitation don't attempt to beat it up, but rather, spar with it playfully.

- Nourish myself with food, water, exercise, sun, air.

- Remember: I am NOT the body or its limitations, but I AM the tenant/resident. All upkeep is mine.

- Create. If I make it with my hands and mind, it counts, whether that creation is a poem or dinner. All creation is the language and expression of the self [soul], of life, of Restoration.

- Affirm my place on earth daily; take responsibility for the space I occupy.


That was "Everyday Restoration" on that day. Today's might be slightly different. Yours will be different. Yours will be an expression of you and your needs. We each shovel our patch in our own way, with our own style.

As I've said, writing is part of my Restoration path. Here's one of my spots where Restoration tries to prevail over Chaos. Good luck with yours.


Sylv said...

Boy I miss that thread!

I'm still trying to learn my limits, respect them and make peace with what looks like is going to be the permanent new normal. On a good day I feel oh so close to how I use to be. Now if I could just string more of those good days together without the other kind in between......ah, well back to that making peace with it idea.

Miss your presence on the board, just wanted you to know that I'm still out here readin' and appreciating your blog.

el poquito said...

Hey Sylv!

You've made my day - you're another of those like-minded souls that it means so much to know. Just in everything you say, yep, yep and yep... I know that one; it helps tremendously to know others walking with the same strange, bizarre and lovely-to-be-here circumstances. It's such a mixed bag and so different than most would expect, eh? So glad to know you come by and check out my mad ramblings unleashed. I always did feel like I had to be careful over in the other spot. Who'd ever think a poetry thread could disturb folks so?! oh well, I guess art SHOULD rattle some cages. In my mind though, it's not a dead thread. It just waits - until one day someone again drops a line or two. It might be you! Or one of us other rabble rousers! Hmmmmmm....

So good to see/hear you. Your 'restoration project' sounds like it's progressing - of course never as fast or far as we'd like, but hey, we're still here to plug away at it!

Thanks for coming by Sylvia and saying 'hi'. Just good to know your out there - still being you.

take care,

Sylv said...

I know what you mean about the other spot. I've had to do so much self-censoring that it's not really worth the effort. BUT, I do check in and when the Restoration thread bounces back up I will be there!

hugs to you and your buddy too (Tell him I said Hi)

Anonymous said...

Hi, Sylvia, it's great to hear from you; makes me smile just thinking about you; we had some good times -- amongst some of the other um... stuff, didn't we?! The outlaw, danged liberals who spoke the truth and didnt' suffer fools or B.S. too gladly. I hope you and yours are doing well. It's been up and down for me, but I'm still standing -- and El P won't let me whine too much. I hope to get up to the Great White North some summer very soon, and we must all get together then. love and hugs -- xxoo -- mark

el poquito said...

YES! Come North, young man! It's cooler up here - well, yes, it is hot here, but it's NEVER Texas hot. The Great Lakes... green grass, cool evenings and mornings and sometimes even mid-day - and lovely, fun-loving people. What more could you want? COME ON UP, AMIGO - anytime.