Saturday, February 7, 2009

the dictionary: cancer (the crab)

Since the shovel is out, and since I'm riding a steroid rocket right now (prescribed), and I have more energy in my mind than I've had in some time, well instead of taking this 3-parter slowly, I'm going to plow ahead, shovel firmly in hand.

i can no longer call you cancer
after finding out your name is greek for the crab
with its many legs
here and there
under this rock
or shoal.
i shall call you by your formal name -
or your fully baptized name -
follicular non-hodgkins lymphoma
or your nickname -
my annoying roommate mr L
but I will not have creepy crawlies
trying to creepy-crawl their way
through my waters.

cancer goodbye.

i shall see you written as c-answer when i hear your name
and think of you pointing to
an answer
within -
the one I may never find.

my own holy grail.


Stella Magdalen said...

Yow. Intense. Zing.

Sandi said...'s quite perfect! This piece is energetic, taking control and taunting the nasty little beast. Bring on the rest of the trilogy!

tarzan said...

Ed...I've been trying so hard to turn my back on several of the uncomfortable feelings you write about, but I can surly relate to each of them.

I love the way you stopped the crab in it's place. How you met it head on. Confrontation, battle, grasping.... the c-answer within......

the hate/sorrow place I am trying to overcome and replace.

Another "acceptance" level perhaps? these words you write, they are so......remindful of what I want to overcome and what I want to do and struggling to find the ways......

el poquito said...

re: "the hate/sorrow place I am trying to overcome and replace."

Survivor: super - above
vivere - to live

Survivor: to live above; to find that place, that view above all the 'stuff' that can weigh us down.